Hurrah for the return of league football! More than one respected columnist (London Evening Standard) caught the sombre mood and downbeat nature of following England nowadays. Your trend-setting blogger highlighted last week the technical inferiority and dearth of talent that prevails among the current international squad. Amidst the bleak in our daily lives, it is important always to look for the absurd to provide some light relief.
Right on cue the BBC's super-annuated 'commentator' John Motson was commanded to give a piece to camera played out on the BBC web-site prior to the Moldova game. "I feel this is now Jermaine Defoe's time as an international striker to really show what he can do in an England shirt. At 29 if he gets a settled run in Hodgson's side I feel he can really make a difference and be our most dangerous player." Lamentable. Of our first half in Moldova where the locals were run off their feet Defoe had five big openings, and scored from one (where a solid international keeper would not have been beaten). The hallmarks of a born-again world beater it was not.
The dear old Beeb has started the season in feeble fashion. They remain light years behind Sky and the major European broadcasters in Germany, Spain and Italy when it comes to airing our game with verve, vibrancy and innovation. A simple example. In the Bundesliga producers entrust the microphone to participants of the game, thereby injecting a time-saving, concise one-on-one interview between player/coach/club owner live at the ground with the anchor man host on studio duty. It helps considerably having old hand presenters of gravitas who know how to conduct an interview - as the Germans do - rather than jumped up ex-pros with no more of a TV track record than selling crisps... Watch Gary on any profound subject matter, or tackling a heavyweight individual such as a Mourinho, Capello or even Blatter to see how quickly he turns into a mixture of Uriah Heep meets David Brent. Far more comfortable trading limp Christmas cracker jokes with his 'pundits.'
Saturday night football presentation in Germany often includes a gaggle of fans live in the studio. They are intelligently prompted to fire direct questions into the OB location on what their team might have got wrong, or right. And they get instant feedback from source via those that matter, interfacing with guys who have actually played in the match. Far too daring and radical for us!
English programme makers have never known how to handle footie fans live in the studios. Herd in too many, feed them some beers and get the floor manager to ramp up the decibel level (I have seen it done) and you quickly descend into chaos. Sanitise the poor twerps in their replica tops into manageable rows of ten like caged hens and you have discomfort personified under the glare of the lights, a vicar's tea party of pale, emasculated manhood as the fake blond with the mike lurches over to plonk down beside you.
I had hoped to see the BBC embrace the new season with some cutting-edge finesse to their football output. To date nothing to report. Remarkably, they even deemed it appropriate to promote failure on edition one of 'Football Focus.' The utterly irrelevant, ludicrous and frankly embarrassing Lawro's Predictions received a plug all of its own. Now this bit of pub malarkey should have long since been quietly put to sleep. But no, the Beeb actually wanted to turn the spotlight on this toe-curling event, whereby one of the BBC's prime overpaid pundits regularly gets less predictions right than the weekly guests - bimbo actresses, reality show ships in the night, soap stars, gardening experts, politicians and former pop idols.
'Aussies get rolled over by Jordan' is something quite a few on London's club scene could boast (oh come on, you can work it out) but talk about raining on Mark's parade this week. A 2-1 defeat in Amman taking the edge off our goalie's century of international caps. My but I'd like to have his air miles…Schwarzer, we Fulham fans salute you! Now we know you're still as fit as a flea and determined to make the Brazil WC, but seriously, when are you going to let that nice, patient Mr. Stockdale have a go in goal?
I'm very much hoping we get to see old favourite Zoltan Gera turn out for the Baggies on Saturday - he's on the way back from injury. Unlike certain names one could mention, I'm sure the fans would give him a terrific reception…those European nights of 2010, never to be forgotten. At time of typing we are yet to hear from Jol's Friday presser with any updates on the state of Bryan's hamstring. Here's hoping he is fit, he did not feature for Costa Rica this past fortnight, but the club have been very quiet on this all week. Hearing his name on the team sheet will certainly lift the crowd as we come to salute the home debut of Mr. Berbatov (and friends?). I don't envisage any changes across the back four, but midfielders alongside Diarra are anyone's guess right now. Is Frei match fit, Karagoulis certainly is not, Richardson says he has a point to prove, can Sidwell cut it? Any room for wingers Martin? I shall only stick my neck out and say I expect to see Petric and Berbatov playing in an interchangeable 4-4-1-1 formation. Five losses and just one draw last winter for West Brom since they returned to Premiership status with visits to the Cottage. They don't win here says the form guide, but Clarke's side have made a very composed start to the campaign. Defeats over Liverpool and Everton plus a point at Spurs. Definitely a side that's improving season by season, and not an outfit I see being in relegation trouble. They play the game the right way so I predict an open game with goals, and a Fulham win. Let's face it, we are as solid as any side at home, averaging 10 home win each season since the year of the Great Escape under Roy.
Couple of trivia points to clarify from people kind enough to post replies to this blog. Keep 'em coming folks, I love reading your thoughts. Firstly, I stand by my contention Fulham have not had a striker on the books quite like Berbatov since the days of Allan Clarke. I know that sounds preposterous to go back to the 60's for a comparison, casting aside the merits of numerous strikers across 40 odd years of the game.
Clarkey was ungainly for a start. All elbows and bony knees. He could appear lazy, languid, a loping stick insect, easy to muscle aside. Far from it. He wasn't the quickest, nor the most elegant. But he wasn't called 'sniffer' for nothing. The guy just loved scoring. He was drafted into a very average Fulham side in the mid '60's. He joined us in fact as we stared relegation in the face, and we dropped out of the First division as soon as he left. But he scored goals everywhere he played. And he conjured them up out of nothing. Scrambles in the box, a long leg pokes out and the ball's in the net. Bicycle kicks from tight angles catching keepers off their line, ghosting in at the far post to head home, slaloming straight down the middle through the mud and tucking the ball under the goalie.
Now in the modern era I loved Louis Saha, thought him the complete centre forward package under Tigana. He was genuinely two-footed, spring-heeled when meeting headers. Had explosive pace, tight close control, a fierce shot and spun away from the tightest of markers like a ballerina. 32 goals in our promotion season and I remember every single one. He had, in fact, everything Clarkey did not, especially magnificent physique. But they were entirely different types of footballer. And that is my point. Both boasted impressive strike rates, but achieved in entirely different styles.
This knack for goal scoring, anticipation, being in the right place, is instinctive. It cannot be coached. You have it or you don't. Gordon Davies certainly had it. Clarkey had it, and Dimitar Berbatov (we hope) also still has it. The weekend will reveal much. It is going to be very exciting and the game is already sold out.
And I shall miss it. Yes, to answer another post I'm still strumming my guitar (and about to step up to a 'resonator' for those who know what they do) so I must away after this to North Wales for three nights of a Cajun & Zydeco hoe-down! Yee-ha y'all! As regulars know music is my other passion alongside FFC - this past week began with the Whitetop Mountain band from West Virginia (that's real hillbilly stuff for you), AC- DC UK (what you can do with three power chords on a Gibson SG) and next week we have on tour in the UK Cedric Watson from Louisiana (check him out!)
Catch you all after the game, and as always, COYW!
Twitter@fulhamphil