The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Ronaldo x Neymar
Portuguese media brand MEO have assembled over £300 million of talent to plug their new season by pitting the Juventus and PSG stars against one another in a variety of settings -- the latest being a sword fight by candlelight.
The advert tries to mix the old and the new, with the pair apparently at an medieval banquet. At one moment they are duelling with swords, before they turn into LIGHTSABERS!
How very chivalrous.
Ronaldo and Neymar also raised eyebrows by staging a boxing/lucha wrestling match recently, which turned out to be another episode in their new periodic duel.
Speaking of Neymar, you may recall that on Wednesday we brought you news of his imminent acting debut in a popular Spanish Netflix crime series.
The PSG striker stars as a Brazilian monk in two episodes of "La Casa de Papel" ("The Paper House") and, as can be witnessed here, his natural on-screen talent just shines through.
A tour de force of a cameo -- though, as we've seen over the years, Neymar is no stranger to melodrama.
Maybe he should just go ahead and give up the day job after all?
Casillas asks: Neymar, Pogba or Ronaldo
Real Madrid legend Iker Casillas has asked fans of his former club which big name galactico they'd like to see playing for Los Blancos in the future.
De estas 3 opciones que te doy, como madridista, cuál es la que más te gusta?— Iker Casillas (@IkerCasillas) August 28, 2019
Over 275,000 fans have submitted their votes (at the time of writing) and the numbers are telling.
Of the three options available, a hypothetical return for Ronaldo is the clear front runner, as you would expect, with the Portuguese star attracting nearly two thirds (64%) of the vote.
However, hardly any Madrid fans would choose the drama queen Neymar, with a mere 14%. Pogba at least gets up to 22%.
Zenit troll themselves over UCL draw
With the draw imminent, UEFA announced the four Champions League group-stage seeding pots on Wednesday evening.
However, there were quizzical looks across the board when Pot 1 was revealed, grouping bit hitters Liverpool, Chelsea, Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Juventus, Manchester City and PSG with Zenit St Petersburg.
Meanwhile, Real Madrid -- who have won the Champions League three times in the last four seasons -- were placed down in Pot 2.
Of course, since 2015 the champions of Europe's top six leagues have automatically slotted into Pot 1. And as Russia remains the sixth-strongest league there's always a club in there.
This mass belittling led Zenit to poke fun at themselves by changing their official Twitter bio to read "the club they all want in the Champions League draw."
It's funny because it's true.
In fact, since the system came into place, the seeded Russian club has progressed from the group stage just once. Which team was that? Yep, Zenit!