Boring James Milner@BoringMilner
Houseproud Manchester City midfielder and oblivious bête noire of Yaya Toure, whose inner monologue is narrated by a seven-year-old Alan Partridge. Best friends with the similarly afflicted Gareth Barry.
I sent Yaya a birthday message but he said It's not his birthday. It was so funny, I bet he hasn't stopped laughing. pic.twitter.com/XCvpnaCBwU— Boring James Milner (@BoringMilner) May 20, 2014
Wenger Knows Best@wengerknowsbest
Does away with pesky reporters by skirting and deflecting his own questions with trademark know-it-all verve, interspersed with transcripts of conversations, the occasional musical interlude and even - genuine - competitions.
Do I still speak to Fabregas? Yes. Is he leaving Barcelona this summer? Yes. Is that just to go to the World Cup? I'm not telling you.— Wenger Knows Best (@wengerknowsbest) June 2, 2014
Potty-mouthed first-born spawn of Wazza and Colin (so he tells us) who brings us life from the Rooneys' inner sanctum and thoughts on football on a daily basis. Mugs with catchphrases 'Rusk, s**t, bed, goodnight' and 'Believe in the weave' can now be found online.
Klay is 1 today. What finer present could the lad have than a romper suit with the slogan "We Don't Let This Slip" on. Seems well chuffed!— Kai Wayne (@KaiWayne) May 21, 2014
Not Roger Federer@PseudoFed
Messianic tweetings from the #humble GOAT, primarily used to maintain order on the ATP World Tour, Grand Slams and the world at large when He and His staff spot incidents of insubordination to His pre-ordained GOATness.
Courtside tweetings: I chose to take it to 3 sets so you can see Me for a little longer. All included in the price #yourewelcome— Not Roger Federer (@PseudoFed) May 14, 2014
Why parody one sportsman when you can ape two? Yorkshire's - which, by definition, equates to the world's - greatest living batsman and finest ever bowler pass judgement on cricket, cricketers and the price of virtually everything.
Just got mi' sen a new computer. I'll be able to get Cricinfo on t'interweb now. pic.twitter.com/fnRI62VGSF— Fred Boycott (@FredBoycott) May 27, 2014
By Jove - when national newspapers are lifting your tweets you know you've hit the mark. Lazy journalism from The Times, top-notch tweeting from the ghost behind the golf commentator's pitch-perfect parody. Remarkable.
Keegan Bradley using a short putter is like a horse playing a concerto on the piano. Remarkable.— Tweeter Alliss (@TweeterAlliss) May 30, 2014
The imagined inner machinations of Sam Allardyce's mind is a dark, drug-addled and often rather offensive place to be. Consider yourself warned.
Just running my steely blade of tactical mastery under the tap. It's dripping in blood. Chelsea blood.— notBigSam (@TheBig_Sam) January 29, 2014
Super Gavin Henson@UnrealGavHenson
Never one to let life as a professional sportsman get in the way of life as an amateur playboy, "Wales' very own Prince of Wales" talks about himself in the third person and can be dangerously vapid. Much as you'd expect, really.
Nelson Mandela is dead...Oscar Pistorius is disgraced... If any country needs a hero it's South Africa. Get Big Gav on the plane! #Gav4Wales— Super Gavin Henson (@UnrealGavHenson) May 29, 2014