In the latest edition of our favourite quotes from the sporting week, Jose Mourinho doesn't like Sam Allardyce's tactics, Arsene Wenger does a 'Benitez', and Daniel Sturridge has a eureka moment...
"This is football from the 19th century. The only thing I can bring more to win was a Black and Decker to destroy the wall"Jose Mourinho wasn't happy after West Ham parked the bus at Stamford Bridge for a 0-0 draw. Pot calling the kettle black, Jose?
"I couldn't give a s****! He just can't take it. Good old Jose, moaning again"Sam Allardyce evidently wasn't too bothered
"If people want to make an issue out of that for next week, to me it is just lazy journalism. Move on"Wales boss Warren Gatland was bullish when asked about the 'grudge' between he and Brian O'Driscoll ahead of their match against Ireland in round two of the Six Nations
"Mercedes are taking 23 trucks with them everywhere. If they really wanted to save fuel they should stop that"Bernie Ecclestone doesn't buy the F1 manufacturers' argument for smaller, quieter, more efficient engines
"I just couldn't butcher enough holes"Fred Couples doesn't know whether to laugh or cry after making the cut in Dubai - costing him his tickets to watch his beloved Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl on Sunday
"They got their tickets first and I was going to pay for mine but the woman said, 'I am sorry, I am going to have to ask for your ID'"England debutant Jack Nowell may be old enough to play for his country but still got ID'd when trying to watch Wolf of Wall Street
"Some people are frustrated with that result? Some people can f*** off"Ipswich manager Mick McCarthy was happy with his side's 1-1 at Leeds, even if others were not
"Hey hey hey.. 4-0 victory and bragging rights in Liverpool... Guess I'm not good at pens!!"The person who caught the ball in the Kop End also realised Daniel Sturridge needs practice from the spot
"Roger was going crazy - he was so happy"From what Stanislas Wawrinka has told us, it feels like Federer won the Australian Open
"It's not mind games, it's opinions, but I don't live with opinions, I live with facts"Arsene Wenger does a 'Benitez' as he rises to Jose Mourinho's bait about Arsenal getting an easy ride with fixtures
"Chico Flores was squealing. Centre halves are not supposed to squeal"Big Sam pops up again, this time having a pop at Chico Flores after Howard Webb sent off Andy Carroll for an apparent elbow on the Swansea defender
For more of ESPN's favourite quotes from the sporting world, visit our Quote/Unquote section.
Download ESPN's new UK sport app, a fresh and powerful new way to follow your favourite UK sports news, scores and video.