In the latest collection of our favourite quotes of the week, Ian Poulter wants a clampdown on golf fans, women turn against Ian Botham (his own fault), and Arsene Wenger speaks from the heart.
"We should be allowed to take 10,000 volt tazers onto the course and tazer every muppet who shouts out something stupid. I would laugh then"
Ian Poulter is less than amused with the behaviour of the crowd at the US PGA.
"He's almost turning a blind eye to the other side of his character"
Former Arsenal player Alan Smith reveals Arsene Wenger has more to him in his pursuit of Luis Suarez.
"So if you've just got in ... if you were dragged to the supermarket by the wife, here are the wickets"
Ian Botham lands himself in hot water after being accused of sexism for his comment on the last day of the Durham Test.
"If that's the only moment I have in an England shirt - and I hope it's not - then I could not have asked for it to go any better"
Safe to say Rickie Lambert enjoyed his international debut, where he scored England's winner against Scotland in a 3-2 victory.
"I am Andre Schurrle...and I don't compare myself to others"
Andre Schurrle clears up a few things for the world's press, who were finally relieved to find out who was talking.
"The first thing Ancelotti said to me after his arrival was that I owe him a European Cup"
Xabi Alonso reveals that his new Real Madrid boss has not forgotten Liverpool's remarkable comeback against AC Milan in the 2005 Champions League final.
"I want our fans to be happy and proud...I just have to be sorry"
Arsene Wenger felt he had to get something off his chest and come clean to the fans after seeing his Arsenal side lose to Aston Villa.
"Football supporters don't care what you do as long as you're a good footballer. They would sing Saddam Hussein's name if he scored a few goals for their team"
Harry Redknapp shoots from the hip about fan loyalty.
For more of ESPN's favourite quotes from the sporting world, visit our Quote/Unquote section.