In the latest collection of memorable quotes, Leyton Orient fend off thousands of angry fans wanting tickets to David Beckham's farewell match, and David Luiz apparently needs to find a McDonalds.
"Already had a few phone calls but to clear things up Beckham's last game is against FC Lorient not us."
Leyton Orient attempt to clear up a few misunderstandings in the wake of Beckham's announced retirement.
"Probably when Lionel Messi ran straight past me!
David Beckham pinpoints the moment he knew it was time to retire. On that basis, we expect the entire Arsenal back four to follow suit.
"SportsDirect News wishes to express its sincere apologies to Wayne Rooney and [his agents] for publishing the article 'Newcastle in shock Rooney bid', which was formulated and published without authority, merit and is untrue."
"In addition, SportsDirect would like to draw attention to a new line of trainers...
"I don't want to give him that payday. He talks so much crap."
Amir Khan accuses Kell Brook of talking rubbish, just days after he himself claimed he would put on a good fight with Floyd Mayweather. Pot and kettle?
Last year I ate beef, now I have chicken but I'm still really hungry."
Unsurprising that David Luiz is hungry if he limits himself to one meal per year.
"I am not here to carry the drinks."
England cricketer Tim Bresnan makes it clear he is no Ravi Bopara.
"For me it was going to be interesting to see how he'd cope with the physicality - but he's got man strength."
Brendan Rodgers is in awe of Philippe Coutinho's arm-wrestling skills.
"I descended like a bit of a girl really after the crash ... Not to disrespect girls, I have one at home."
Before Bradley Wiggins had a daughter he was more than happy to disrespect girls.
"I'm here for the pizza because the pizza in Naples is very good."
Many of us call Dominos in a crisis, Roberto Mancini flies to Naples.
"You can go down a list of footballers since the Premier League and I don't think David Beckham would probably be in the first 1,000."
Chris Waddle reveals how Chris Kiwomya narrowly edged Beckham out of his list.
"We organised a barbecue at Sylvain Armand's house, he was called, and he came to eat sausages with us in Sylvain's garden!"
Mamadou Sakho tries to show that David Beckham is just a regular guy because he likes a good Lincolnshire banger.
For more quotes from the week, go to our Quote/Unquote section here.