In the latest collection of memorable quotes, the QPR chairman gets through to Jose Bosingwa, Arsene Wenger finds a man as deliriously happy as he is, and Barcelona lose their cool.
"It's a lovely ice-cream that has been melting in the sun for the past 16 months"
Spanish journalist Guillem Balague uses an unlikely metaphor to describe Barcelona. He later described QPR as an out-of-date brussel sprout.
"92% of the population will be within 50 miles of a World Cup venue.
England Rugby 2015 chief Debbie Jevons will tell the other 8% to go watch Rugby League.
"He's a lump with lots of heart and he will fight until he's dead."
David Haye delves deep to find his kindest words on opponent Manuel Charr, but ends up describing Audley Harrison.
"He is happy as Larry and the whole thing is complete rubbish."
We're not sure who this Larry character is, but it would appear Arsene Wenger is as happy as him, according to Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood.
"I can't believe I'm not dead. I'm very lucky."
Sale's Danny Cipriani reflects on his collision with a bus during a pub crawl with team-mates.
"If I am taking someone else's money, then I am going to work bloody hard for that person."
QPR chairman Tony Fernandes lays down the law for his players, although Jose Bosingwa had his headphones in at the time.
"I feel like I am the big man on campus now so it's kinda cool."
Rickie Fowler will later down a dirty pint and streak through the Student Union Bar to prove it.
"They came to cheat and chuck the ball around."
Leicester boss Richard Cockerill wasn't a fan of London Irish's approach to their Premiership clash.
"Wladimir gets sponsored by the round. The longer it goes, the more money he gets."
David Haye comes dangerously close to accusing Wladimir Klitschko of fixing fights.
"A fight like that, it reminded me of a Mexican pinata. You hang it up and smack the hell out of it."
Haye didn't think much of Klitschko's opponent, Francesco Pianeta, although his name made for a nice metaphor for the Brit.
For more quotes from the week, go to our Quote/Unquote section here.