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Taking the mickey, Tiger

ESPN staff
March 24, 2013
Tiger Woods' love life crops up in this week's best sporting quotes © AP
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This week, we have an unusual candidate for the Apprentice, and a jealous "ex" of Tiger Woods who has not taken his new relationship very well.

"I thought he would have picked a woman who was more petite and not someone who is more muscular and has a bigger head than his."
One of Tiger Woods' alleged ex-mistresses Devon James was obviously happy for the golfer's new relationship with Lindsey Vonn.

"As any viewer of the Apprentice would attest, it has been a joy and experience to negotiate with Karren Brady."
Mayor of London Boris Johnson couldn't believe it when he had to create a TV ad for a new brand of face moisturiser.

"You don't win a game by talking, you win a game by playing."
Roy Hodgson always was a strong competitor at charades.

"I am notoriously the best player of X-Box in the team."
Jonathan Trott's reputation precedes him, particularly when it comes to Call of Duty.

"If I played flawlessly in all the matches I would be Lionel Messi."
Arsenal defender Thomas Vermaelen is no Lionel Messi and he knows that all too well.

"I saw him get armbarred by Vitor and he's 52. He's so boring, he made Machida fall asleep."
Chael Sonnen fails to highlight that Jon Jones won both of these fights, and will probably beat him too.

"As it's being watched around the world I'd like to put my Twitter account on the bottom of them so I can get more fans."
Tyson Fury floats the idea of putting his Twitter account on the soles of Steve Cunningham's boots.

"We may lose, we may win. But we are not rolling over."
Leyton Orient chairman Barry Hearn makes it clear there are no easy games at Brisbane Road.

"I want to wear Johny Hendricks' teeth as a necklace."
We didn't know Jake Ellenberger was a fan of jewellery, but it would appear he is.

"I played against him about four years ago in the FA Cup for Peterborough. I was right wing and he was left wing and he destroyed me."
George Boyd puts forward his case for why he should mark Gareth Bale in Scotland's clash with Wales.

For more quotes from the week, check out Quote/Unquote section.

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