This week, detectives get involved in the Six Nations, David Beckham's fashion is admired by a rival, and Motherwell lose a grip on reality. It's the week in words...
"If I phoned David up and said I had Michael Sprott lined up, he would not want to get out of bed."
Yet David Price quite happily fought Matt Skelton three months ago.
"Week one we were CSI - we just left fingerprints; week two there were eye-witnesses and week three we still want to be there as the police arrive!"
Scotland boss Scott Johnson assesses his team's performances at the contact area in the Six Nations.
"I like fashion, and it's more in that field that I admire him than for his football."
Marseille forward Andre Ayew questions David Beckham's football credentials. Beckham later had to ask, 'Who is Andre Ayew?'
"Because it is your press conference."
A journalist gives a fairly simple response when asked by a fiery Arsene Wenger why he was looking at him.
"Motherwell have tonight completed the sensational signing of James McFadden."
Motherwell made another purchase 24 hours later, splashing out on a dictionary to check the definition of "sensational".
"There was a guy building a snowman this morning at 8."
Russell Henley's World Match Play Championship diary really had some peaks.
"F***ing go crazy! Drop punches, elbows - go absolutely ape sh*t!"
UFC president Dana White shows he'd make a good corner man.
"I'm not sure he wants to fight me but if it happens, Burns will get burned."
Showing good depth to his vocabulary, Adrien Broner later predicted he would also show Tyson Fury his fury.
"It's not me who chose to buy me."
Christopher Samba insists he was aware he wasn't playing Championship Manager when choosing to join QPR in January.
For the rest of this week's quotes, visit our Quote/Unquote section