We round up the best (and worst) of the quips, gags and gaffes from the last week in sport...
"There are no tools you can use out there. You've just got to go with what you have in your pants." We're not entirely sure what Nicolas Colsaerts was trying to say here, but based on his Ryder Cup rookie round, that man has some serious cojones.
"I respect Stoke for the way they play as much as I respect Barcelona."
Just you then, Michael Laudrup
"I don't know how much they miss him but we don't."
It appears absence does not make the heart grow fonder for Arsene Wenger, who clearly won't be receiving a postcard from China from Didier Drogba
"I have selection solutions, not selection problems."
Sounds like Wenger has been reading those self-help books again
"When he yells and screams, his eyes bug out. That's why you want to beat him."
Steve Stricker doesn't want to beat Ian Poulter because of his fashion sense or his obnoxious attitude. Is there such thing as bug-eye-a-phobia?
"I'm too fast, too sexy and too talented to be blown away by a large, slow robot from the Ukraine"
David Haye does his own version of Right Said Fred
"You would never stand on the same side in ping-pong if you don't get along."
That explains why Boris Johnson only plays singles
He didn't come up here last night because he had to go to the bank.
Brandt Snedeker was late to the Ryder Cup because he had a rather large Fed Ex Cup bonus burning a hole in his pocket.
For the rest of the week in words, check out our Quote/Unquote section.