Get the online translators out, here's the latest indecipherable collection of quotes from the past sporting week...
"I'm hoping I can can watch Arsenal beat Liverpool tomorrow. 8.30 kick-off over here. Need a late tee-off time."
Some golfers play well for the money, Ian Poulter plays well so he can watch Abou Diaby sky shot after shot from the edge of the box. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, and all that.
"I couldn't hear the sound, but I assume it was set to an 80s ballad. It got me a little bit."
Andy Roddick's decision to wear ear muffs during the first dance at his wedding was considered controversial at best.
"James Corden was watching me today, as well. I spotted him midway through first set, and then spent the rest of the time trying not to wave."
Laura Robson reveals her tennis ability might just be superior to her taste in comedy heroes.
"I am someone who has no interest in just existing on tour."
Andy Roddick gets all existential about his tennis career as he announces his retirement.
"I saw the first game. Wow! It was terrible for them."
And yet, Julio Cesar was more than happy to join QPR.
"The player never arrived in Florence because of reckless and arrogant actions of other clubs which have nothing to do with the values of honesty, fair play and sporting ethics which lie beyond the boundaries of loyalty."
Fiorentina, say what you really think! A club statement lashes out at Dimitar Berbatov after the striker got a better offer ... from Fulham? Ooh, that's gotta sting.
"Courage becomes greater through a wound."
So read Wayne Rooney's T-shirt (well, it was written in Latin) as he told fans he was recovering well from a gash on his thigh. Good choice to leave the 'Belly becomes bigger after that eighth pie' shirt in the wardrobe.
"I'm embarrassed to say I don't know the national anthem yet. I promise - please write this - I promise I will learn it and quiz me next time."
If actually winning a match at a grand slam didn't spark debate about her true nationality, new British citizen Johanna Konta revealed she hadn't done her homework either.
"It's a good thing I was on the phone because otherwise he'd have smashed my face in!"
Jose Maria Olazabal reveals pulling out of the Ryder Cup was never a safe option with the late Seve Ballesteros.