Our weekly collection of the most ridiculous sporting quotes takes in Ian Holloway, Usain Bolt and the one and only, Scott Brash...
"There's about as much chance of re-signing DJ Campbell as there is of me wearing high heels and calling myself Sheila."
Ian Holloway, enough said
"I'm now a living legend. Bask in my glory."
Usain Bolt stays modest after winning the Olympic 200m final.
"It's okay, it's always carnage at the end of a triathlon."
The way Alistair Brownlee promotes triathlons might need some tweaking
"Rio Ferdinand has tweeted me and says he will hook me up for a trial so I am looking forward to that."
So it's true, we really may have seen the last of Usain Bolt on the athletics track... Gulp
"Great start, easy. Easy. Easy, easy, easy."
Michael Johnson, how much are the BBC paying you? This is not commentary or analysis!
"I really hope this win improves my pulling power with women, if I'm honest! That's about it."
Showjumping gold may breed a different sort of success for Scott Brash
"He will earn his Savile row suit with the beating he's going to get."
Tyson Fury better hope his performance in the ring is better than his pre-fight trash talk