Our weekly collection of the most ridiculous sporting quotes takes in Andy Murray, Ian Poulter and man-of-the-moment Bradley Wiggins...
"There are hopefully enough police on this race to find them and send them to a football match or something."
Cracking idea this by Bradley Wiggins, let's punish those who attempted to sabotage the Tour de France by having the Police send them to a football match. That'll teach them.
"I laugh a lot, just not in front of you guys, your questions aren't funny."
Andy Murray brings the house down when a journalist asks if he ever laughs.
"I have two of his shirts; one from Inter, one from Milan, and well, it doesn't really excite me too much."
Louis Nicollin, the Montpellier chairman, shows what a waste of space he thinks new PSG signing Zlatan Ibrahimovic is.
"My Martin Luther King moment is that I, too, have a dream, and rather than West Ham put us out of business it is to let us have the Olympic Stadium."
Leyton Orient chairman Barry Hearn keeps talking when everybody wishes he would stop.
Jennifer was a great thinker on the court: it wasn't just boom, boom."
Martina Hingis highlights the difference between Jennifer Capriati and the Williams sisters.
"He should go somewhere where people like his interviews and love the way he is, the way he talks shit on everybody. I can't stand that boy. F*** Chael."
Rampage Jackson speaks well of Chael Sonnen after the UFC middleweight lost to Anderson Silva.
"If the lad had any brains he'd stay under Roberto for another year or so."
Wigan chairman Dave Whelan forgets Chelsea target Victor Moses would also be under "Roberto" at Stamford Bridge. What was that about brains Dave?
"Golfer by day, movie star by night. This is how we roll."
Justin Rose fancies a role in "Bridesmaids" after walking the red carpet.
"He's a little bit like a Flat equivalent of AP (McCoy) in that I expect he makes an incredibly boring husband as he comes home and pours over video after video."
Not Michael Owen but jockey Craig Williams that manager David Redvers is referring to here.
"I've just packed my wellies, flippers & snorkel."
Ian Poulter made sure he had options if he missed the cut at The Open.
For the rest of the week in words, check out our Quote/Unquote section.