We take a look back at the best of the week's quips, gags and gaffes. This week, Tiger Woods gives an honest assessment of his form and Mark Cavendish dishes out orders to the Queen
"I look like an Afghan Hound and I'm strutting around the place like something out of Crufts."
Robbie Savage reveals how he makes sure he is top dog at whatever club he plays at
"I'm swinging the club well enough that you don't need to walk out there with hockey helmets on."
Tiger Woods just recommends light padding for spectators these days
"I said to her she will have to cheer for us when we come past."
Mark Cavendish starts handing out orders to the Queen following his CBE
"Him and his fat mate should be sh*tting it if I decide to write a book. There'll be no holding back on those two muppets."
Joey Barton. Need we say more?
"By the time I am done with him, he is going to be more tanked-up than one who has been binging on those salmari and jaloviina vodkas they have in Finland."
At least Dereck Chisora makes an effort with his trash talking
"He can't do too much. I don't know if he can even swim."
Harry Redknapp admits Ledley King is unlikely to give Michael Phelps a run for his money
"Do you want to go?! "
Broken wine glass in hand, Robert Allenby showed his mean streak during a dispute with Geoff Ogilvy. At least he didn't use any of his golf clubs
For the rest of the week in words, check out our Quote/Unquote section.