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Suarez rolls out the excuses

ESPN staff
June 29, 2014
Luis Suarez was banned from "all forms of football" after appearing to bite Giorgio Chiellini © Getty Images
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Luis Suarez and his wandering teeth were at the forefront of the news this week and, unsurprisingly, the latest edition of ESPN's favourite quotes from the previous seven days. A four month ban followed Suarez's little nibble on Italy's Giorgio Chiellini, so surely - surely - he has learnt his lesson this time…

"I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth"

Oh. But someone in the Uruguay camp must have condemned his actions?

"Who wins, who loses? Who benefits, who is harmed? Who ended up getting things their way?"

Right, so Uruguay coach Oscar Tabarez blames the English media. How about his lawyer, Alejandro Balbi?

"If every player starts showing the injuries he suffers and they open inquiries for them everything will be way too complicated in the future"

Judy Murray watching one her sons at Wimbledon ... but which one? © Getty Images
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Forget it. Let's head to SW19.

"It's a pity my family don't watch me, Jamie is the No.1 son. That's why I'm so competitive - he's the priority! My brother's always been the favourite so my family all went to watch him"

Still, Andy Murray, you did win Wimbledon…

"I'm trying to figure out when this [press conference] is going to end. I'm really losing focus up here. The longer these interviews go ... Maybe that's why at Wimbledon they have them long. This is getting ... The questions change from tennis to Novak and then Rafa. It's no longer about the match. Is this the last question?"

You would think the journalists privileged enough to be able to cover Wimbledon would know better than to annoy Serena Williams. Meanwhile, Caroline Wozniacki was being asked about her love life - again - and if she would consider internet dating:

"I'll just see what happens - I'm not that desperate"

At least she's honest. Hey, remember when John Isner was involved in the longest match in Wimbledon history. Here's a quick anecdote from his match with Britain's Dan Smethurst in the first round:

"Best moment of my day was the umpire explaining that there is no tie-break in the fifth and John replying that he is fully aware of that rule"

Dan Smethurst was tickled by this exchange in his first-round match with John Isner, who was one of the competitors in the longest match in Wimbledon history four years ago

"Nothing can prepare me for this. I just hope I play well and don't poop my pants"

Well, Blaz Rola may not have "pooped his pants", but he did get thrashed by Murray in the second round.

And finally, here's Shane Warne on Alastair Cook:

"I witnessed the worst day of captaincy I have ever seen at international level in almost 25 years in the game"

We do wish he wouldn't sit on the fence so much…

For more of ESPN's favourite quotes from the sporting world, visit our Quote/Unquote section.

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